Tremblant Lifestyle

As the US dollar drops from its high pedestal and burrows itself to a magma core, people are looking for some form of escape. In harsh times escape is needed. A slice of sunshine is required by many to forget, just for a moment, the bitter realities of these modern times. If you cannot afford to take a trip, eat at a fancy restaurant, feed on the blood of the innocent, etc. here you’ll find some ideas.

In the Soviet Union it was said that the people had two great luxuries. There was vodka and caviar. One will get you drunk; the other is salty and served on toast points. It is safe to say that those two things may have been the greatest aspects of communism in Russia. Brezhnev may have turned a blind eye to a worsening economy and Stalin did kill an estimated thirty million people but dammit, they were drunk and eating caviar by the ladle full. Granted there was no private property. Now both those communist staples are seen as the epitome of class. It is similar to how lobster used to be fed to sheep, now its twenty dollars a pound! Real estate in Moscow is the most expensive in the world. What happened?

(Sheep food turned people food. One day we will eat grass)

Charles Mandeville once wrote that the private vices of people are public virtues. Our greed for wants over needs and essentials is the driving force behind a successful country. Since it is now evident that many countries have no money it is safe to say that in Canada the greatest vice can be called only one thing; horse radish Dijon mustard. Far finer than any Tim Horton’s donut, premium beer or ornamental Star Wars collectible can by Pepsi. Horse radish Dijon is a true amenity at $2.38 a bottle. Remember those ads from the early 90s when that guy in the limo would pull up next to another guy and ask for grey poupon? He did so because he was not classy enough, budget minded enough, awesome enough to think about horse radish mother grabbing Dijon! He was no penny pinching prince enlightened to the ways of culinary distinction.

The food luxury has been taken care of. Now we need to return to our stately tenement home. How do we do so? Is there another luxurious manner in which we can travel besides a Bentley but on a chimney sweeps salary? No? Yes? The answer is, of course, yes. Razor scooters are by far the golden chariots of the people. If there were still pharaohs in Egypt and they had no money because they had been recently hit by poor investment choices and incomplete long term financial planning, then they would ride razor scooters. I saw a kid do a back flip with one once. It looked cool. Enough said.

(Where your income may come from)

Now that we are at our stately manor, what do we do? The answer is simple: the Nintendo Wii, or reading books. You should read. Reading is a great pleasure and for many years considered not only a luxury but a virtue. Books are cheap, easily available, and expand the mind. LeVar Burton was so proud of reading that he created a rainbow to show it. Now, children everywhere can thank him for instilling in them the love of reading. Good job Reading! You are truly the opiate of the masses.

Well if this quick list doesn’t help you, perhaps your name is Billy Billionaire and you are only satiated by the tears of the poor. Go back to your giant mansion on your private real estate guarded by tigers Billy Billionaire. Because we have access to these activities and goods you will starve. Chomp on that, old crotchety billionaires everywhere.