Tremblant Lifestyle

Real vs. Fake

by on May.20, 2008, under A Discerning Eye

Morpheus once asked Neo, “What is real? If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” So when it comes to breasts, can your brain interpret which electrical signals are emanating from the real deal and which are from the fakes? How was Kramer able to spot a fake Cuban cigar in just one puff? How can a woman tell if her husband spent two days’ salary on her wedding ring as opposed to the standard two months? When you’re busy popping that forehead pimple in the mirror, how can you be sure there’s not a team of sweaty detectives on the other side, watching your every move in a cloud of cigarette smoke? Here are some tips on how to discern between what’s real and what’s not.

Breasts
Less than 10 years ago you could spot a fake pair from a mile away, and like a tractor beam they could pull you in for the entire mile. Implants used to make women look like they had whoopee-cushions surgically installed in their chests. But with all the advancements in breast augmentation techniques and technology, the difference isn’t as ap-pair-ent. Pun intended.

real fake boobs

Look
Most real breasts are not gravity-defying, perfectly round spheres looking like they’re ready to burst through any amount of clothing in their way. They usually have a natural sliding curve like a ski slope, and one is almost always slightly larger than the other (this difference is hard to tell while the bra is still on; further investigation may be required).

Depending on the skill of the surgeon, the nipple placement can also be an indicator to the breast’s authenticity. They could be too high, too low, or pointing in different directions.

Real breasts move and shape-shift according to the woman’s movement. For instance, if she bends over they should hang, if she lays on her back they should flatten. Fake breasts maintain their shape and are often motionless. One method to discover the truth is the self-explanatory “Trampoline Test”. Another method is the popular “Can I rest my beer on them test”.

Feel
Breasts consist of mostly fat and are therefore soft and squishable to the touch. Fake breasts are so firm you can bounce a quarter off them.

Cuban Cigars

YouTube Preview Image

Feel
One surefire way to tell the real Cuban from a “Dominican in a Cuban wrapper” is to roll the cigar between your fingers. Contrary to the world of breasts, a real Cuban will have a consistent firm feel to it, whereas a fake will have squishy spots.
The leaves are also an important indicator. Real Cubans are rolled with supple, soft whole leaves. Fakes are rolled with the brittle, shredded scraps of leaves which break and crumble easily to the touch. If the cigar passes the roll test, clip off an end and notice the tobacco. If it falls out, it’s definitely a fake made from factory floor tobacco shavings.

real fake cohibas

Look
A box of real Cubans will contain cigars of uniform chocolate color and equal length. Fakes, again due to the leaves, will have both light and dark colors, and are often varying in length.

cuban cigar

On the box you should look for a seal from the Cuban government and a “Habanos” sticker on the cover with the black silhouette of a tobacco leaf. You should also check the bottom of the box for three burnt markings: Hababo S.A. is the mark of the official Cuban cigar export agency; hecho en Cuba, which means “Made in Cuba”; and totalmente a mano, which means “totally by hand”.

For a thorough comparison between real vs fake Cuban cigar boxes, please visit http://havanajournal.com/cigars/cohibas.

Diamonds

The closest thing to a real diamond is the cubic zirconia and the best way to figure out the difference is to bring it to a professional. If the $50-$75 appraisal fee is beyond your budget, you should read a book on better money management. But here are some simple tests you can perform at home.

diamond.jpg

Weight
A fake weighs approximately 50% more than a real diamond of the same size and shape. Nice to know, but unless you happen to have a diamond to reference, slightly complicated to demonstrate.

Transparency Test
Place the stone upside down on a newspaper. If the writing is legible through the stone then you’ve got yourself a fake.

Fog Test
Clean the surface of the stone then breathe on it. If the stone remains foggy for a few seconds, it’s a fake. A real diamond will clear up instantly. If the stone melts under your breath, the garlic you ate was very real.

U.V. Test
Place the stone under an ultra violet black light. If it shows a medium to strong blue fluorescence, it’s a real diamond. The only problem with this test is that a lack of blue fluorescence not only indicates a fake, but it could also indicate a diamond of very high quality.

diamond-test.jpg

Mirror

There was an email which circulated offering paranoid people everywhere a failsafe way to determine whether or not the mirror they were undressing in front of was in fact a mirror and not a looking glass for peeping perverts. You were to place your fingernail against the surface: if there is a gap between the image and the nail, the mirror is genuine; if they touch, you’re being ogled. This test is what’s really fake here, however, as it only determines whether the reflective part of the mirror is on the surface, or behind a sheet of glass. Two-way, or transparent mirrors are laminated windows which have been treated with Mirropane, a product which is reflective on one side while allowing light to pass through both sides. For the fake mirror to work the spy-ee needs to be in a brightly lit room, while the spy-ers need to be in the dark.

two_way_mirror.jpg

Two way mirrors usually act as windows and are therefore set into the wall itself in whatever real estate property. Real mirrors tend to hang and are not flush with the wall.

The real fingernail test is to tap the mirror with your fingernail. If it makes a hollow sound there’s a good chance it’s a fake mirror with an open space behind it.

Turn off the lights. If there is a hidden camera or a team of sweaty detectives you’ll be able to spot them through the glass. A flashlight will help to illuminate and expose the room on the other side.

two_way_mirror2.jpg

If you’re in a changing room and you don’t have access to the lights, simply go in for a closer look, cupping your hands around your eyes and getting your face as close as possible to the glass. If it’s a fake mirror you’ll be able to see right through it.


97 Comments for this entry

  • Jeff Jarit

    I remember being in Cuba on the beach a few years ago, watching this hairy Cuban dude rolling a fat cigar on his sweaty leg, thinking “now THAT’s luxury.”

  • Morghus

    The cuban cigar tips will definately be useful to me, while fake breasts tend to be pretty apparent and easy to spot unless they’re moderated enough in size.

    Not sure when I’ll need to inspect a diamond, or check for a mirror-window, though you never know, it might happen :P

  • dan

    @ Jeff
    You must be lucky since us Americans aren’t allowed to place a foot on Cuba. In doing so we would be banned from entering the states for another 15 years.

  • website design

    Two way mirrors usually act as windows and are therefore set into the wall itself. Real mirrors tend to hang and are not flush with the wall. i like this

  • Jonathan

    @ dan
    That’s total bs. The only restriction is that Americans can not enter Cuba directly, you have to go through another country, usually Mexico and then to Cuba.

  • nailPuppy

    @dan

    Don’t be an idiot, that isn’t true.
    http://wikitravel.org/en/Americans_in_Cuba

  • website design

    Some people prefer fake boobs. Never got that. I always feel like once you notice a massive fake portion, the person seems cyborg-like, in an “upgraded” way. Creepy.

  • AL7AIR

    There is an easier tell for the two way mirror: You use your fingernail as well. But this time just put it against the mirror. If your fingernail and its reflection are directly touching each other it’s a two way mirror, if there’s a gap between the two it’s a normal mirror.

  • Nick

    Here a I have a huge tits girl, smoking a cigar and with only her diamonds on. Unfortunately everything’s fake.

  • xtraa

    @dan:
    what??! Really? Wow.

    I thought you had a freedom of travel in the U.S.

    Let me know if I can send you some food or forbidden music from europe.

  • captainmeanie

    @AL7AIR
    if you actually took the time to read the article, you would have saved time leaving that comment. that test doesnt work…

  • ReadItFirst

    AL7AIR, did you even read the article? The fingernail to the glass test does not work, as is stated in the very article you have just commented on…

    “You were to place your fingernail against the surface: if there is a gap between the image and the nail, the mirror is genuine; if they touch, you’re being ogled. THIS TEST IS WHAT’S REALLY FAKE HERE, however, as it only determines whether the reflective part of the mirror is on the surface, or behind a sheet of glass.”

  • BoobsMcGee

    You forgot to mention the flash light test. Stick a flash light up to those knockers and if they are fake they will light up like a Christmas tree

  • dan

    @ Jonathan
    Under current US law, entering Cuba by anyone under US jurisdiction is illegal (exceptions: journalists, doctors, educational purposes, etc). If this country ever gave two shits about the laws they pass, people doing this would be prosecuted. And if they did that, it would be a huge waste of time and money on both the government and the people who were being prosecuted. So, essentially I wasted too much time explaining this.

  • directhex

    @Jonathan

    Read the Helms-Burton act, and numerous enforcements of it.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helms_burton

  • ben

    another way to tell a fake boob is by touching it…they have always been very cold and hard in my experience…not warm and supple like a real breast. what the hell is wrong with women? are they really that insecure and stupid to want to fuck up their bodies and raise their risk of getting breast cancer so much?

  • neednewbed.com

    so, fake breasts flourese under uv light, mirrors have to be an even color, and cigars mustn’t sound hollow when tapped, easy to remember.

  • Bill aka NO DooDahs!

    A good indicator of fake tits is the overall body shape of the woman; the chest to hip ratio. It’s not foolproof, but it’s a good first screen. If they’re top-heavy without any junk in the trunk …

    Lack of motion and defying gravity are clues as well. Even early-20s Cs and Ds should have some sag, if they’re natural.

  • John Roberts

    Another sure way to spot a two way mirror is put your finger or pencial or any object against the glass. There should be a gap between the tip of the object and its reflection. If not, and the two objects meet, then it IS a two way mirror.

  • Melissa

    “What the hell is wrong with women?” (ben) I would venture to guess that what is wrong with us women is that guys like you tell us that we are not attractive unless we have huge breasts. Would you prefer a B, C, or D cup?

  • Jack Weison

    Excellent post. I didnt know about the gap on the mirror thing. Very good to know.

    JJ
    http://www.Ultimate-Anonymity.com

  • Leah

    Look for “armpit fall”. Large real breasts tend to do this when the woman is lying down.

  • Guillaune

    Who cares about fake tits? As long as they look good… (and you’re not a baby, that is)

  • Catharine

    Entering cuba isn’t illegal, its illegal to spend any money in the cuban economy, so its impossible to go w/o doing that, especially considering most countries like cuba have either entrance or departure taxes. Also, what about the scratching the diamond on a mirror test?

  • Warthog10

    I enjoy a good pair of Ds or Cs but better a natural A or B than a fake C or D.

  • Scarlett Johan's Son

    One way to spot a two way mirror that no one’s mentioned is to put your finger or other body part against the mirror. If there’s a gap, you’re not close enough. If there’s no gap, do something dirty.

  • Warthog10

    Leah,

    may I ask how you discovered that ?

    Warthog10

  • Tom

    John Roberts, you are the second person to say that same thing. It was debunked in this very article. It’s very informative, I can provide you with a link if you would like some help finding it.

  • Ozz

    Closest thing to a real diamond is cubic zirconia?
    Hell now!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthetic_diamond

    These days they can make the exact same thing in a lab. You can only tell the difference using very specialised lab equipment.

  • Glen

    Another way to spot a fake mirror! It always looks slightly “dark” relative to the room, because it is not reflecting ALL of the light in the room!
    Don’t you wish it were this easy to spot fake brains? Then we wouldn’t have $4 gas prices!

  • stationstops

    If the room your in has walls made of acoustic tiles as shown in the photo, the mirror in the room is probably 2-way ;)

  • Meridian

    I’m not sure why the article missed something so obvious, but another way to spot a 2-way mirror is to rest your hand on it. Look at the reflection… if there is a gap between the image and your real hand, the mirror is normal. Otherwise, WATCH OUT!

  • J

    You can get real Cubans in Mexico. If you live close to the border than all you need to do is cross over and find a reputable cigar shop.

  • OMG

    How to spot mentally challenged Internet posters. They claim the author missed an important fact like how checking for a one-way mirror by placing an object close to it, when in fact, the author already claimed it was fake. Imagine if you were at a party and this coversation were live.

  • Martin

    @Melissa
    Whichever fits in my hands for the size.

    But on a more serious note you DID point the problem with the women problem (and guys too). Instead of wanting our mate to be themselves, we want them to be the photoshopped girl/guy we saw on TV/magazine cover.

  • Jake

    If they were flat and folded before you inflated her, they are fake.

  • Phoghat

    There are manufactured diamonds that are almost indistinguishable from natural diamonds. Same weight, color, clarity etc. Most, but not all jewelers can not tell natural from manufactured. About the only main difference is that manufactured diamonds are almost always flawless.

  • D

    Two months salary!?
    Looks like I’m not getting married anytime soon.

  • jimbino

    You sure struck out on the “fake diamond” test. One can always rely on the fact that a diamond, though a great electrical insulator, is a better heat conductor than silver, aluminum or copper.

    If you put a diamond and a fake in the freezer then between your fingers, the diamond will warm up real fast, but the glass or zirconium will stay cold for awhile.

  • AL7AIR

    Ok, I didn’t read the article.

  • MD2000

    The “gap on the mirror” only proves that the reflective silvering is on the back of the glass. (no gap if on the front of the glass) Those giant 200-inch telescope mirrors have front silvering. No public commercial mirror will have front silvering, because people will pick it off with a fingernail or something’ on the back, the rear will be coated with paint to prevent oxidizing and it’s inaccessible to prying fingernails.

    However, the 2-way mirror will also have its silvering away from prying eyes and fingernails, on the back. Presumably the secret guys watching won’t be scratching and giving away their cover. It’s just instead of plain silvering, they use a product like the car-window mirroring. So the gap test is totally meanigless as the author points out. It’s just a troll joke to convince gullible people that every mirror is a 2-way.

    As for breasts - ferakish is not attractive, any more than the bozo with the giant pecs and biceps; fake breasts too big, just look wierd. As the famous line goes “anything over a mouthful is wasted anyway”. But, as one joker said, “if that’s true, how come women never say that about men?”

  • dum-azz

    I heard you could check to see if a mirror was fake by putting your pist through it. If your hand ends up in another room then it was fake. If you just end up with severe bleeding from all the broken glass you are a dumbass

  • tyu

    very nice design….

  • Joe

    The Cigar comparison is pretty silly. While that particular “fake” set you showed were cheap cigars to begin with, many brands of Dominican cigars rival the quality and flavor of any Cuban cigar now a days. Put one of THOSE in a fake wrapper, and suddenly all your tests fail.

    Not to mention, if you don’t care for a cigar (leave it out of a humidity controlled environment for more than 24-48 hours or so) it will quickly begin to dry out and even the highest quality cigar will start to flake apart, and the tobacco lose it’s cohesion, again nullifying your test.

  • Leethal

    @Meridian

    Are you dense? The article debunks that method and this has been pointed out no less than twice in the comments. Read the article before you make comments on it.

  • GuidedRocketLauncher

    OK. So you put the breast up against the diamond and look at both in the mirror. If there’s a gap between your hand and the breast you’re paying too much attention to the diamond and the mirror.

  • mark

    Awesome tips, especially the mirror.

  • gringo

    Has anyone mentioned yet that if you put your finger against a mirror and there is a gap that it’s a real mirror yet?

  • typical internet poster

    What about putting something up against the mirror? If there’s a gap then the mirror is a two-way, if there isn’t then its real!

  • captaincommando

    To find out if someone’s breasts are real, just ask. Ex: “Nice tits. They real?” (always lead the question with a compliment)

    Two way mirror worries? Just throw a chair through it. If it lands in a stranger’s lap in the adjacent room, it was a two-way mirror. If it falls to the floor with all the glass, it was genuine. In either case you should probably run away.

    Not sure if a diamond is real? Who gives a shit. If you can’t tell, neither can most other people.

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