Tremblant Lifestyle

Real vs. Fake

by on May.20, 2008, under A Discerning Eye

Morpheus once asked Neo, “What is real? If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.” So when it comes to breasts, can your brain interpret which electrical signals are emanating from the real deal and which are from the fakes? How was Kramer able to spot a fake Cuban cigar in just one puff? How can a woman tell if her husband spent two days’ salary on her wedding ring as opposed to the standard two months? When you’re busy popping that forehead pimple in the mirror, how can you be sure there’s not a team of sweaty detectives on the other side, watching your every move in a cloud of cigarette smoke? Here are some tips on how to discern between what’s real and what’s not.

Breasts
Less than 10 years ago you could spot a fake pair from a mile away, and like a tractor beam they could pull you in for the entire mile. Implants used to make women look like they had whoopee-cushions surgically installed in their chests. But with all the advancements in breast augmentation techniques and technology, the difference isn’t as ap-pair-ent. Pun intended.

real fake boobs

Look
Most real breasts are not gravity-defying, perfectly round spheres looking like they’re ready to burst through any amount of clothing in their way. They usually have a natural sliding curve like a ski slope, and one is almost always slightly larger than the other (this difference is hard to tell while the bra is still on; further investigation may be required).

Depending on the skill of the surgeon, the nipple placement can also be an indicator to the breast’s authenticity. They could be too high, too low, or pointing in different directions.

Real breasts move and shape-shift according to the woman’s movement. For instance, if she bends over they should hang, if she lays on her back they should flatten. Fake breasts maintain their shape and are often motionless. One method to discover the truth is the self-explanatory “Trampoline Test”. Another method is the popular “Can I rest my beer on them test”.

Feel
Breasts consist of mostly fat and are therefore soft and squishable to the touch. Fake breasts are so firm you can bounce a quarter off them.

Cuban Cigars

YouTube Preview Image

Feel
One surefire way to tell the real Cuban from a “Dominican in a Cuban wrapper” is to roll the cigar between your fingers. Contrary to the world of breasts, a real Cuban will have a consistent firm feel to it, whereas a fake will have squishy spots.
The leaves are also an important indicator. Real Cubans are rolled with supple, soft whole leaves. Fakes are rolled with the brittle, shredded scraps of leaves which break and crumble easily to the touch. If the cigar passes the roll test, clip off an end and notice the tobacco. If it falls out, it’s definitely a fake made from factory floor tobacco shavings.

real fake cohibas

Look
A box of real Cubans will contain cigars of uniform chocolate color and equal length. Fakes, again due to the leaves, will have both light and dark colors, and are often varying in length.

cuban cigar

On the box you should look for a seal from the Cuban government and a “Habanos” sticker on the cover with the black silhouette of a tobacco leaf. You should also check the bottom of the box for three burnt markings: Hababo S.A. is the mark of the official Cuban cigar export agency; hecho en Cuba, which means “Made in Cuba”; and totalmente a mano, which means “totally by hand”.

For a thorough comparison between real vs fake Cuban cigar boxes, please visit http://havanajournal.com/cigars/cohibas.

Diamonds

The closest thing to a real diamond is the cubic zirconia and the best way to figure out the difference is to bring it to a professional. If the $50-$75 appraisal fee is beyond your budget, you should read a book on better money management. But here are some simple tests you can perform at home.

diamond.jpg

Weight
A fake weighs approximately 50% more than a real diamond of the same size and shape. Nice to know, but unless you happen to have a diamond to reference, slightly complicated to demonstrate.

Transparency Test
Place the stone upside down on a newspaper. If the writing is legible through the stone then you’ve got yourself a fake.

Fog Test
Clean the surface of the stone then breathe on it. If the stone remains foggy for a few seconds, it’s a fake. A real diamond will clear up instantly. If the stone melts under your breath, the garlic you ate was very real.

U.V. Test
Place the stone under an ultra violet black light. If it shows a medium to strong blue fluorescence, it’s a real diamond. The only problem with this test is that a lack of blue fluorescence not only indicates a fake, but it could also indicate a diamond of very high quality.

diamond-test.jpg

Mirror

There was an email which circulated offering paranoid people everywhere a failsafe way to determine whether or not the mirror they were undressing in front of was in fact a mirror and not a looking glass for peeping perverts. You were to place your fingernail against the surface: if there is a gap between the image and the nail, the mirror is genuine; if they touch, you’re being ogled. This test is what’s really fake here, however, as it only determines whether the reflective part of the mirror is on the surface, or behind a sheet of glass. Two-way, or transparent mirrors are laminated windows which have been treated with Mirropane, a product which is reflective on one side while allowing light to pass through both sides. For the fake mirror to work the spy-ee needs to be in a brightly lit room, while the spy-ers need to be in the dark.

two_way_mirror.jpg

Two way mirrors usually act as windows and are therefore set into the wall itself in whatever real estate property. Real mirrors tend to hang and are not flush with the wall.

The real fingernail test is to tap the mirror with your fingernail. If it makes a hollow sound there’s a good chance it’s a fake mirror with an open space behind it.

Turn off the lights. If there is a hidden camera or a team of sweaty detectives you’ll be able to spot them through the glass. A flashlight will help to illuminate and expose the room on the other side.

two_way_mirror2.jpg

If you’re in a changing room and you don’t have access to the lights, simply go in for a closer look, cupping your hands around your eyes and getting your face as close as possible to the glass. If it’s a fake mirror you’ll be able to see right through it.


97 Comments for this entry

  • Brian
    May 23rd, 2008 on 11:15 am

    the author is incorrect. Cubic Zirconia is NOT the closest to a real diamond. There are now actual real lab created diamonds that have ALL the same properties as mined diamonds. This is why they are required to be laser etched for identification.

  • dumb ass
    May 23rd, 2008 on 11:17 am

    if you put your finger against a mirror… oh wait, nevermind.

  • Warthog10
    May 23rd, 2008 on 11:20 am

    if you put your finger against a breast… oh wait, never mind.

  • Brian
    May 23rd, 2008 on 11:24 am

    Dumb fucker. Diamonds made in labs are the same as real mined diamonds because… GASP they are real diamonds.

    In other words 1 = 1.

  • Seattle
    May 23rd, 2008 on 11:33 am

    LOL Meridian… Classic!

    Meridian, I’m not sure why you missed something so obvious, but ANOTHER way to spot a 2-way……. ;]

  • FriendlyNeighborhoodSpid
    May 23rd, 2008 on 11:46 am

    The best mirror test is to cup your hands around your mouth and get right up to the mirror and yell, “IS THERE ANYBODY BACK THERE?” Maybe follow this by shouting “AVERT YOUR GAZE!” to ensure you’re only seen by people of unscrupulous character and the profoundly deaf.

  • Neddo
    May 23rd, 2008 on 1:09 pm

    Hey xtraa - Americans certainly had the freedom to travel to Europe twice last century to rescue you from the Nazis. So stow it.

  • Ken
    May 23rd, 2008 on 1:20 pm

    Melissa said this on May 23rd, 2008 at 6:49 am

    “What the hell is wrong with women?” (ben) I would venture to guess that what is wrong with us women is that guys like you tell us that we are not attractive unless we have huge breasts. Would you prefer a B, C, or D cup?

    Hey, Melissa: YES, PLEASE!!!

  • informer
    May 23rd, 2008 on 1:35 pm

    Neddo, I’m here to rescue you from your American ignorance.

    There were no Nazis in World War I.

    You’re welcome.

  • iflyer
    May 23rd, 2008 on 1:40 pm

    Men who say women aren’t attractive without huge tits are the vocal minority, as usual. The dumb, dumb vocal minority. Not as dumb as the women who subscribe to it however.

  • Lolita
    May 23rd, 2008 on 2:22 pm

    If men like huge fake tits so much, they should implant them in themselves. Then they could play with their own big fake tits all day long and we women would be able to spot the pigmen easily.

  • Marc
    May 23rd, 2008 on 3:45 pm

    The art of discerning the difference between natural or surgically-enhanced can not be successfully conveyed through some how-to guide

    A true breast man doesn’t need pointers on how to spot the difference between real and fake. A true breast man knows whether
    some girl’s hope chest is real or not by extinct alone.

  • Moron in San Quentin
    May 23rd, 2008 on 3:50 pm

    The nice policewoman with the really big hooters told me the big mirror on the wall was not too-way, and that I could tell her everything. Since I could only see her in the reflection, I knew there was no one else around.

  • Raydar
    May 23rd, 2008 on 5:45 pm

    Real vs. fake breasts?
    The ones I prefer are the ones that produce squirming from their owners, when I give them my attention. :D

  • Tim
    May 23rd, 2008 on 7:13 pm

    Once when I was a young man I had an encounter with a young virginal lass who sported 36DD natural breasts that were PERFECT in every sense of the word.No sag, the nipples were in the right position and they were a sight to behold.She was a natural blonde all over too.When I pointed out the fact that her pubes were straight too,she responded with”Isn’t everone’s?”Oh for those days once again.

  • Bobo
    May 23rd, 2008 on 7:42 pm

    Give the girl the diamond. Use a real one if you want a long-term relationship. Uncover the breasts and press them against the mirror. If there is a gap between a breast and its image, it is a real mirror. If you hear the sound of panting, chairs scraping on the floor, or “look at this” coming from behind the mirror, then it is a real two-way mirror. Later, you can light up the cigar. If it’s good, who cares where it was made?

    On a more serious note, I took my wife to let her pick her engagement ring. She asked how much she could spend. I said as much as she wants, but whatever she spent on the diamond was money we wouldn’t have for other things. She spent about what I would have spent anyway, and has never complained about her ring.

  • Ricardo
    May 23rd, 2008 on 10:36 pm

    @Catherine re scratching a diamond on a mirror (or glass). Any diamond will cut glass, but then again glass will cut glass as will most fake diamonds, so it is not really a test. Another test for a diamond is put a drop of water on it while watching with a jewelers eyepiece (or a magnifying glass) if it is diamond the water will slide off, but with a fake, it will leave a tiny residue creating a “rainbow” effect on the surface (water sitting in the small crevices in the surface).

    Re Fake Breasts; another thing to remember is that real breasts point roughly 90 degrees apart, most of the time. Fakes tend to point straight ahead.

  • elmer b.
    May 24th, 2008 on 2:54 am

    store-bought hooters are proof god loves us and wants us to be happy.

  • Scott
    May 24th, 2008 on 3:44 am

    Not ALL diamonds will fluoresce; high quality or not. There are two categories of fluorescence as well. Anything higher than a G color is called a Jager; named after the Jagerfontein mine in which most of those stones were found. The other being the Premier (anything lower than a G that shows fluorescence) after the mine of the same name.

    Re: Phoghat
    There are ways to tell synthetic stones from naturals (diamonds or colored). Under magnification they display certain characteristics originating from the way the crystal was formed. For example, in synthetic corundum (ruby and sapphire) you see very faint streaks internally. These are called curved striae and are formed because it is spinning when it’s formed. Synthetic diamonds will display similar characteristics.
    For clarification, when I say synthetic I mean made in a lab…not simulated which is what cubic zirconium, yttrium aluminum garnet, and moissanite (which, as well as the CZ are synthetic stones made in a lab)

  • dave
    May 24th, 2008 on 3:44 am

    A wise man once said:

    There’s no such thing as “fake breasts.” If you can touch them, then they are real!

    Words to live by.

  • AllanX
    May 24th, 2008 on 4:38 am

    I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious.

  • FAST ED
    May 24th, 2008 on 10:30 am

    I once saw this chick through the security glass with fake boobs and a fake diamond necklace smoking a fake cuban cigar…or were they?
    When she pressed her breasts against the glass she knocked the cigar out of her mouth and Which did not fall to pieces? Then the diamond necklace scratched the glass? since the cigar hit before her tits they must not be so large or well formed? Maybe I was really standing behind her and was watching just her reflection?

  • jay
    May 24th, 2008 on 4:55 pm

    My girlfriend has little tits and they are PERFECT!

  • laurlai
    May 24th, 2008 on 8:32 pm

    another way to test a two-way mirror is to put the tip of your fingernail against it. if the reflection tip is touching your real fingertip, it’s a fake mirror.

  • Jim
    May 25th, 2008 on 10:20 am

    A wise man once said:

    “There’s no such thing as “fake breasts.” If you can touch them, then they are real!

    Words to live by.”

    So true, Dave. So true. But only if the chick aint ugly.

  • Ankharan
    May 25th, 2008 on 10:30 am

    It is amazing how uneducated Americans are. Makes me wounder why I bother to give a crap about my country any more.

  • miriam
    May 25th, 2008 on 6:11 pm

    oh dear, the morons are showing their true colors. i heard once if you put your fingernail up against a mirror….oh wait. seems that’s a myth that the author so kindly debunked. i wish people would read before they posted. cheers to you, dan. i enjoyed the article, and actually read the whole thing. :p

  • Lara
    May 26th, 2008 on 1:07 am

    The easiest way to tell if a stone is a cz or diamond is to look at the light refraction. A white diamond will always have white reflections but a zirconia will reflect a miriad of colours. This isn’t a diffinitive test of course. The best way is to see how well it conducts electricity. This is how a jeweller will test it to determine if it’s real. A diamond will have a thermal conductivity of 900 to 2320 Watts. This can be tested with an electrometer.

  • Scott
    May 26th, 2008 on 3:48 pm

    You can also weigh the stones out of the mountings. CZ has a specific gravity nearly twice that of diamond. So a 5mm diameter round CZ will weigh approx 1 carat whereas a 1ct round diamond is generally approx 6.5 mm in diameter. Often times you can just pick one up and instantly know the difference.

  • Liz
    May 26th, 2008 on 9:21 pm

    i beg to differ on your analysis of fake breasts.

    as a proud wearer of fake breasts…submuscular saline implants with incision below the fold of the breast…

    many have a hard time telling if mine are fake or real…they look real, feel real, and just as you stated that a real breast does (hangs when bending over, flat when laying down) mine do just that.

    they bounce normally when i run, or jump (and yes it hurts just as real breasts do when they slam downward due to gravity).

    anymore these days, its going to take more than the usual stereotypical “ways to tell if they are fake”. your just going to have to find an incision point. under the fold, arm pit, or around the nipple. the most hidden kind though you will have a hard time finding (inserted through the navel)

    good luck figuring it out :)
    ps: mine are not firm and you sure as hell cannot bounce a quarter off them.

  • Goodness
    May 27th, 2008 on 3:46 am

    By the way you’re wrong the closest to a diamond is the moissanite do your research.

  • Jibran
    May 27th, 2008 on 4:27 pm

    Awesome info on Cuban cigars, here is another great article that helped me out.

    http://www.vancouvercigar.com/are-you-buying-fake-cuban-cigars.html

    Real Cuban cigars only come from Habanos Certified Distributors people so be careful.

  • Rich
    May 27th, 2008 on 4:43 pm

    I’m a regular American and I’ve been to Cuba many times via Mexico and the Cayman Islands. It’s very easy to do. Just ask Cuban Immigration to not stamp your passport, and they’ll happily abide. Cuban is very beautiful with nice people. I highly suggest a visit.

  • Esrebet
    May 30th, 2008 on 9:26 am

    Hate to break it to you but you cant always tell real breast from fake by the shape of the woman. I am “top heavy” with a slight frame and very little in the trunk. Well at least till I got pregnant. My husband can very accutately tell you I am all real.

  • xfzzl
    May 30th, 2008 on 9:39 am

    By the way, it is so easy to tell if a mirror is fake. Dont mess around with lighting n crap, just stick your finger up to it - f its real, there will be a gap…

    And has anyone noticed how every single one of these comments, bar maybe the first two, was just mocking your own credulity?
    Dont feed the trolls ghais

  • griven
    May 31st, 2008 on 1:44 pm

    Dude. Don’t you know that’s how they are all rolled? You received and seized the opportunity to watch this in real life. Kinda like hippos mating! I’m sooo jealous.

  • T_Roll
    June 2nd, 2008 on 2:22 am

    Photoshopped.

  • Kazer
    June 2nd, 2008 on 10:26 am

    You shits need to learn how to react to obvious trolls.

    Also, small breasts are way better. You wouldn’t want girls coming up to you and shoving huge plates of jello or blubber in your face, would you?

  • sir jorge
    June 6th, 2008 on 7:01 pm

    great post, reality vs. false, awesome!

  • laura
    June 9th, 2008 on 9:40 am

    Oh, one more thing about the two-way mirror: if you set something against it and there’s a space between the object and its’ own reflection, that means it’s just a mirror. But, there isn’t a space and the item and reflection are pressed against each other, it’s definitely a two-way mirror!

    (couldn’t resist.)

  • Mazlar
    June 10th, 2008 on 2:37 am

    easy way to tell if mirror is fake. place boobs against mirror. if lips appear on the other side then the mirror is fake. thanks for the great article!

  • BillinDetroit
    June 15th, 2008 on 3:07 am

    @Melissa: Can you cut me a deal on an A or a B? Boobs are fat. Fat chest, fat bottom. Fat chance.

  • Amanda
    June 23rd, 2008 on 8:02 pm

    @ Website design

    Would you complain if the fake boobs were filled with good cognac and whiskey, and her nips were the nozzles?

    Ah, now there’s an idea - I should patent this!

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  • Cigars Man
    July 3rd, 2008 on 8:45 pm

    Fake cuban cigars are first noticed by looking at the head of the cigar. If the head has a typical Cuban cap (3 layers of tobacco to make the head), then you are 50% towards a real Cuban cigar. The notion that rolling the cigar between your fingers will be an indicator is pure propaganda passed on by Cuba’s Habanos S.A.. If the tobacco is dry, it will fall apart whether the cigar was made in Cuba, the Dominican Republic or Nicaragua.

  • ATOzTOA
    July 10th, 2008 on 9:38 am

    Till now I had thought the fingernail method works for Mirrors.

    Will the thick glass acts as transparent if the coating is one the other side?

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