Tremblant Lifestyle

For digg: (title) Famous nerds slamming lawyers. (descr.) Two centuries worth of bitter brainiacs dish out eloquent ways to say “Lawyers suck.”

When it comes to joke targets, lawyers have always worn lofty bull’s eyes. But as they say in the land down under, “too easy mate.” Any fifth grader can split sides with over-told classics like “What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement? Not enough cement!” Why limit yourself to law-joke hackery when you could employ some creativity and stamp your name on one your own? The following are some lesser known, original jabs at the sharks in suits, made by folk with a little more than the multiplications table on their resume. They may not bring the roof down, but at least they’re original.

“It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself.”

Mark Twain, author (1835-1910)

“The law is an ass”

Charles Dickens, novelist (1812-1870)

“If you don’t get the lawyer who knows the law, then get one who knows the judge”Anonymous

“A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.”

Mario Puzo, author (1920-1999)

“A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth”

Patrick Murray, screen actor (1956 – ?)

“Law students are trained in the case method, and to the lawyer everything in life looks like a case”

Edward Packard, Jr., election administrator (1968 – ?)

“There are three sorts or lawyers – able, unable and lamentable.”

Robert Smith Surtees, English editor, novelist (1803 – 1864)

“Of course people are getting smarter nowadays: they are letting lawyers instead of their conscience be their guide”

German proverb

“Law is not a profession at all, but rather a business service station and repair ship.”

Adlai Stevenson, politician and diplomat (1900-1965)

“A lawyers time and advice are his stock and trade”

Abraham Lincoln, 16th US president (1861-65)“Appeal: in law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.”

The devil’s dictionary

“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage”

Ambrose Pierce, editorialist, journalist (1842-1914)

“Be frank and explicit with your lawyer. It’s his business to confuse the issue afterwards.”

Anonymous

“The law is a sort of hocus-pocus science that smiles in your face while it picks your pocket.”

H.L Mencken, journalist, (1880-1956)

“Most attorneys practice the law because it gives then a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand and they feel glorious.”

Milton Berle, comedian and actor (1908-2002)